What falls under the umbrella of NOH8? Part 2

 For years I battled low self-esteem. As a young woman I dated a man with a serious drinking problem, which was compounded by my father's recurring drinking. I felt as though I was worthless and undeserving of love. All of these factors, I believe, led to my making unhealthy decisions. One evening, at a party, I was sexually assaulted. A tumultuous emotional decline followed.

As I started to recover from these experiences, I started clambering out of my depression. I began taking anti-depressants, I began attending Al-Anon regularly and I started standing up for myself. I grew out my bangs. Every one of my friends can attest to some situation in which someone has made an ignorant comment to me about my birthmark. Numerous verbal spats have nearly come to blows. Several times, my friends and I have left situations where comments were flying.

Every time I meet someone new, the conversation invariably comes around to my birthmark. It's part of who I am. It is not, however, all of who I am. I am a survivor of relationship violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse and rape. I am a medical advocate for a rape crisis center. I rescue neglected kittens. Even when they scratch my nose and terrorize my plants. I am an advocate for my friends and love their kids. I am a great big sister and awesome best friend.

My best friend and I are amateur social activists. When there is a march or protest for gay rights, we are there. When a senator needs an email or a phone call, we are there. My best friend's right to marry is important to me. I have told her that until the day she is allowed to take the plunge, I won't either. I mean it.

Given the chance to support her by taking part in the NOH8 photo shoot was an awesome opportunity. I was excited. I got to show my support and take a beautiful picture with my best friend. Until I saw the picture. I noticed that they had photo-shopped my birthmark out. It is not all of me, but it is a big part of me. A talisman to my strength through the years of bullying. Something I could never change about myself. IT WAS HOW I WAS BORN. For a program that advocates respect and love and acceptance, what was so terrible about a birthmark that they could not leave it in the picture? For the record, no spoke to me about it at the shoot or via email. I was aware that some touching up would take place, but you wouldn't photo-shop Cindy Crawford's mole would you?

That's my story and it's an important one. No one is perfect. I get that. But, when you demand I respect you (even when I already do) why don't I deserve the same?