So, as I've mentioned before, my cousin got married on NYE. I had spent the months preceding the wedding trying to lose some weight. I am a curvy girl who has always preferred books to aerobics, my cousin played softball in school. Not to mention her time on the diving team in college. I didn't want to look like a softball next to her in all the pictures. I never wanted to be full of myself. We all know those girls. The ones who really shouldn't be wearing that or saying that. Those girls may not look great but they have oodles of confidence. They strut, head held high and chat up whomever they please. While they were outside looking fabu, I was at home staring into the mirror listing my faults. My father insisted that pride was wrong and that to be prideful set you up to be torn down. I come from a HUGE Irish family where affection is shown via the masterful art of the put-down. I learned to become a wallflower. I didn't want to be the next one to be picked on.
All this perceived protection set me up to be unhappy and lacking self-esteem. A lack of self-esteem lead to me entering relationships and entertaining people that didn't deserve a second glance. The important thing that I have recently discovered is, I am all and everything. I go to bed with myself at night and wake up with myself in the morning. Me, myself and I. As long as I love me, it doesn't matter if someone else does. This is what I hope to impart to my sister, female friends and their daughters . We may not fit the box, but since everyone has a different idea of what is beautiful, why would we want to? Isn't it better to be a juicy, fantastic individual than a hungry, hollow shell? I embrace my curves and myself today. I AM GORGEOUS!! By the way, so are you!
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