The night I was sexually assaulted, no one beat me to a pulp. I didn't go home with lacerations to my face. The man who raped me was a friend of a friend. My boyfriend was at the party with me. It was the weekend of the Fourth of July. We were shooting of firecrackers and drinking. I was 21.
I started to feel sick, so I was told by the host that I could lie down in his room. One of the guests came into the room and took his pants off. He placed my hand on his penis. I was terrified. As a young woman, I had been indoctrinated. Don't embarrass someone, don't make someone feel bad. I lay on the bed terrified. I pretended to be asleep. He used my limp hand to stroke himself. I said, "no, what are you doing?" He said, "Ssssh, it's ok. You know me." I was so upset, I bit my lip as tears fell from my eyes. I wanted to pretend this wasn't happening. I started to shake. The light went on, the host had walked in. "Whoa!" He said. I sat up quickly and ran from the room. I stopped my boyfriend in the hallway, "DO NOT LEAVE ME HERE", I said. I thought I was safe, it had only just begun.
I needed to find my purse. I searched the house. I couldn't find it. I walked into the kitchen where the host was, holding my purse. I was stone-cold sober at this point.
The host was holding my purse, "looking for this?" I went to grab my purse, I told him I was leaving. He told me he would take me home. I said I was leaving with my boyfriend. He said my boyfriend didn't deserve me. He said that I didn't need my boyfriend. He pushed me against the washing machine. I pushed him away. He pushed me back and started to kiss my neck. I said no. I pushed. He pushed back and turned me around. He pushed me over the washing machine and pulled my pants down. As I sobbed and said, no, no, no, no. He penetrated me. My thighs had bruises for days from pounding against the machine. The doctor in the ER said they looked like something that could happen from rough sex. I cried out when he penetrated me anally. I was crying and praying. I kept saying no, no, no, no. For the entire 15 minutes of my rape the only word I uttered was "no".
When he finished, he pulled up my pants. I was shaking, as I made my way to the door. He asked if he could call me. I was in such shock I must have said yes. As he left a message on my answering machine a few days later. I walked into the living room and asked where my boyfriend was. He had left. He had walked in during my assault and turned around and went home. Another guest drove me home. The whole way he derided me as I sobbed. Telling me I got what I asked for. You see, I was the only girl there.
Why didn't I scream you ask? Why didn't I yell for help? Why didn't he have to beat me so I fit the television definition of a rape victim? My rapist had a gun. He was a police officer.
The GOP says this wasn't rape. Do you agree?
I started to feel sick, so I was told by the host that I could lie down in his room. One of the guests came into the room and took his pants off. He placed my hand on his penis. I was terrified. As a young woman, I had been indoctrinated. Don't embarrass someone, don't make someone feel bad. I lay on the bed terrified. I pretended to be asleep. He used my limp hand to stroke himself. I said, "no, what are you doing?" He said, "Ssssh, it's ok. You know me." I was so upset, I bit my lip as tears fell from my eyes. I wanted to pretend this wasn't happening. I started to shake. The light went on, the host had walked in. "Whoa!" He said. I sat up quickly and ran from the room. I stopped my boyfriend in the hallway, "DO NOT LEAVE ME HERE", I said. I thought I was safe, it had only just begun.
I needed to find my purse. I searched the house. I couldn't find it. I walked into the kitchen where the host was, holding my purse. I was stone-cold sober at this point.
The host was holding my purse, "looking for this?" I went to grab my purse, I told him I was leaving. He told me he would take me home. I said I was leaving with my boyfriend. He said my boyfriend didn't deserve me. He said that I didn't need my boyfriend. He pushed me against the washing machine. I pushed him away. He pushed me back and started to kiss my neck. I said no. I pushed. He pushed back and turned me around. He pushed me over the washing machine and pulled my pants down. As I sobbed and said, no, no, no, no. He penetrated me. My thighs had bruises for days from pounding against the machine. The doctor in the ER said they looked like something that could happen from rough sex. I cried out when he penetrated me anally. I was crying and praying. I kept saying no, no, no, no. For the entire 15 minutes of my rape the only word I uttered was "no".
When he finished, he pulled up my pants. I was shaking, as I made my way to the door. He asked if he could call me. I was in such shock I must have said yes. As he left a message on my answering machine a few days later. I walked into the living room and asked where my boyfriend was. He had left. He had walked in during my assault and turned around and went home. Another guest drove me home. The whole way he derided me as I sobbed. Telling me I got what I asked for. You see, I was the only girl there.
Why didn't I scream you ask? Why didn't I yell for help? Why didn't he have to beat me so I fit the television definition of a rape victim? My rapist had a gun. He was a police officer.
The GOP says this wasn't rape. Do you agree?
Rape is defined as unwanted, non-consenting sexual contact. So whatever new definition the GOP is touting should include this.
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