I Call Bullsh*t

 Before I start, I need to thank Michelle for letting me vent on her blog. Best bff ever! Yup, so here we go...

I decided today that I would give myself a little treat. I gave myself an hour to get away from the ten thousand things I have on my to-do list. Probably not the most responsible decision I’ve made, but hey, sometimes you just need time to breathe. So I spent a chunk of my afternoon with a veggie burger and my very own personal guru. Lunches with said guru usually become one of three things: Let’s talk politics and policy, Let’s talk goals and dreams, or Let’s talk about you and your present issues (however big or small they may be). Today was a combo-platter…item one, followed by two and three. Once we got the State of the Union out of the way, we moved on to figuring out how my present issues are stopping me from reaching my goals. And by that I mean that I spent an hour with a veggie burger and my guru calling me on ALL of my shit.

Doesn’t sound like a treat? Well, somehow, it always actually is. It’s not like anything that she says to me is something that I haven’t already said to myself, so it’s never a shock to hear. But it’s always interesting to talk to her, because she gets me. Like, really GETS me. Sometimes I think she may actually be in my head somehow. Creepy. Anyway, she told me today that I’m a talker. Not in terms of, “Hey, you never shut up”, but rather that I talk a big game, but never follow through. True. She said that I talk that game in order to keep myself from having to feel anything; thought before emotion. True. And she said that I also do it to keep myself from ever having to actually commit to something. Also true.

So what does that all mean then? Well, Guru set forth a challenge for me, and I’m going to pass it on to you. I am supposed to catch myself every time I’m “talking my game”, every time I’m planning in order to avoid doing, every time I’m lying to myself. I suppose everyone has something that happens in his or her head that he should try to catch himself doing, whether it’s being unjustly critical of someone, unjustly critical of himself, making himself into the victim/martyr, or maybe blaming himself for things that are not his fault. Try to catch yourself. It’s actually pretty amazing how often we do this kind of stuff to ourselves. It’s also amazing how much space you’ll have in your head if you catch it and stop it.

There's your challenge. Try it for a week. Also, please feel free to call bullshit on me anytime. Really. C'mon, you know you want to...

                                                            ~Shanna

This is what my sweet, 

loving kitten thinks of bullshit.