I am trying to write a letter for my uncle. He will be attending a retreat this weekend and my aunt wants me to write him a letter. A Catholic men's retreat. I'm supposed to write something supportive and loving. I love my uncle. He might very well be one of my favorite people on the planet. However, I am at a loss as to what to say. The reason being: I have recently discovered that my life is much more enjoyable if I follow a philosophy of atheism. Or, as my roommate informed me today, a philosophy of existential nihilism. (I must admit, Kierkegaard's The Seducer's Diary is one of my absolute favorite books.)
I just had what I like to call "a dark night of the soul". When I came out the other side, it was with a clear peace of mind. In those hours I felt very clearly that God did not exist. There was no question or guilty feeling. I have a hard time with the belief that life has no intrinsic value, but I have just as much difficulty believing that our humanity makes us more special or better than anything else on the planet or in the universe. I think that there should also be a philosophy of religious hubris. I truly believe that religion is a creation of man's desperate need to be more important than he actually is. Man created God to fill that hole that was left by what was perceived as a lack of love from mommy and daddy. Then man used religion to exploit those who were weaker and less educated.
Can you see my conundrum?
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